Do you wake up one day wondering how the hell you got there? One day you are 21 getting ready to go have a beer and hear your fave band. The next day you are 30 and married with your first child. Then, one day you wake up and think - there's a lot of good here but gosh, some things have to change. I actually saw some of my friends go through this earlier on. I had friends who wanted to leave their husbands. I think they were going through early midlife crisis. Fortunately, they stayed the course with the marriage and one day they woke up and it was great! They felt the upheaval early on, weathered the storm, and came out on the other side. I have friends who are single moms who struggle in some way (or a lot of ways) who confide in me they long for a mate to shoulder the responsibility of life and to share the special moments. They have weathered the storm for a while and are waiting for that day that they wake up and say, "hey, I made it!" And, I have friends that woke up one day and said, "That's it. I'm done." That is the day they filed for divorce or at least put it into motion. For me, it was none of things but I can empathize with all of those situation. Some of us are happily married and have, as I said, a lot that is good, but the things that aren't, they REALLY aren't. It began honestly several years ago. This nagging feeling of something isn't quite right. We (my family and I) are not living as well as we could. I'm not talking about materially, though that was certainly a part of it. I am speaking of deep down, something is not right, my life is not how I planned or maybe that's the problem and I didn't plan enough. The nagging didn't go away and then we fell into crisis. My father's illness followed by trauma imposed on our family by our child's school and it seemed like our precarious house of cards began to fall. Sounds dramatic. I had (calling it what it was) gone into a deep depression. I wish it weren't true. But, it is. This is the point when I am writing when I take a deep sigh. Walking into 2020 prior to Covid, I began to take a hard look at myself and what the three years prior had brought me. It was NOT pretty. I had ghosted my closest and oldest friends. and some family members. Not intentionally. Not completely. For my friends, it was out of sight out of mind and as my only sight was keeping my family's head above water, I saw very few people during that time. In regards to ghosting family, it was sort of protecting my heart from being reminded of my grief, which I need no reminder of. I had decided in early 2020 to break free from these shackles (otherwise known as intense depression) and reenter life fully. But, Covid dashed those things. I came out of the gate strong and starting texting old friends and wrote a few letters, but as it wore on my energy flagged in that regard. Well, I stayed on that inward journey last year and feel that in many ways I was rewarded. I began to re-craft my life and look at what I want and how I want to achieve it, who fits into it and where I want to live it. Then, I began to take steps to make those things happen, including long talk with my husband and the kids as I'm not a one woman show. I enrolled in college and in December will finish an associates degree then start the final leg of my college journey and do something that has been on my heart for several years - teach! I reached out to family members and began to go and see them, though it hurt my heart as they are reminders of the great loss of my father. I reached out to friends that I had lost touch with, perhaps the most important friends, certainly some of my oldest. It is hard to explain to people how you got there or in my case, here. The last year has been a deeper look into the trauma I experienced growing up (okay, don't vomit as we may all be tired of "trauma" as a lot of us have it) but I have peeled back the layers of some stuff that I had no idea was still lingering and holding me back and seeing some patterns from my parents as well. (There is nothing like realizing you are repeating some things your parents did and quickly changing course to ensure that you stop!) I know I am not alone in this. The last two years I have seen several friends return to school, in fact, many of them getting education degrees and teaching! I have friends who have lost tremendous amounts of weight and a couple are even competing in weight lifting and fitness competitions! I have friends who in the last year left jobs they hated and purchase businesses for their family that has brought them great joy. Maybe that is why I am writing this blog post. Maybe it is not all about me (just kidding). But, it is to tell others that whatever your circumstance is or choices you have made, there is always a different choice to be made to get you where you want to go. I do believe that. 4 weeks ago I turned 49. I have had some amazing adventures. I have traveled globally, jumped off cliffs, swam with sharks, read thousands of books. seen hundreds of live bands, played an instrument, written a blog, gone to school, loved and cherished friends and family and you know, life in so many ways has been good to me without my even taking notice. Today, I am taking notice and taking charge and it feels great. I don't know what life will bring in 5 minutes or in 5 years, but today I am harnessing the power of the midlife crisis to craft as much as I can in the best way I can. I'd love to hear your midlife stories and how you have changed as well.!
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This is the first year in maybe 4 that I have not suffered from SAD, seasonal affective disorder. I say SAD, but I have not had a diagnosis except from my arm chair! Normally from the middle of January through mid-March I struggle daily with keeping myself going through the dark days of winter and the rains that affect middle Tennessee for weeks on end. I will be honest, I have NO idea what is different this year.
Maybe it's Chiron leaving Pisces. Maybe it's my being in a personal good space. Maybe it's my giving up of meat. No idea! I'm just thrilled. But, that doesn't change the fact that we are having our umpeenth day of cold rain in Tennessee and after a while, it does affect you a little! Add to that another sick kid. We've had strep, a flu-like virus and now I don't know what going through our home. I'm making the 17 year old breakfast, putting on the essential oils, handing him motrin and getting him settled for a day of rest on the couch. Today I could have easily have succumbed to this rainy weather and spun out. But, I lit candles, put on music and doubled down on focus as I knew that things would be changing throughout the day. My high schooler finally has the virus that has been going around and is home on the couch, clients are calling me for quick changes or needs, I'm working for a new client that I am sorely behind on, I remembered that I forgot to tell the hubby that the 6th grade class meeting was changed to 3pm today AND I forgot to add it to the calender, I just realized that on the list of items that Kroger was out of for my Clicklist order, one was an important ingredient for tonight's dinner......such is life. Now I work while an early dinner prep is simmering on the stove and soft music is playing. Here's to another rainy day and rainy day rituals that keep us on track! Today I had an interesting experience that has not happened to me before. It was so profound I feel I have taken an important step in my own evolution in how I approach my body.
This morning when I woke up I had a massive headache that was most likely a ricochet from slight dehydration, motrin, poor sleep - all from dealing with what I think is the flu. After my family left the house I made my breakfast and after attempting and quickly giving up, I realized that my headache had become a migraine. 2 motrin, several drops of peppermint and lavendar oils liberally applied to my head and neck and a cold compress later, I decided my only recourse was to lie down for a nap. Now enter the reflux, which I have been dealing with off and on since my dad became ill, nearly 2 years ago. My options were either to lie there with my migraine feeling better while my reflux wreaked havoc on my body, or sit up to deal with the reflux but aggravate my migraine. Or, reach deep within as well as go without to bring balance to my body. I've read for years about this technique, but today is perhaps the first time I've been able to do it myself. I reached out to my higher self and asked for assistance and for a few minutes, began to use the Ishaya meditation technique that I have used for years. Then I began to speak to my body, telling it how much I love it and that I am working hard to care for it. I alternated between the meditation and speaking lovingly to my body. Soon the reflux and the migraine dissipated and I relaxed into deep 2 hour sleep, which was the best sleep I have had in 4 nights. One of my challenges is consistency in all things and I hope that as I focus on my health in 2019 that I can remember this and make this part of my daily health practice! I want to encourage you to try this sweet talk - this self love talk to your body and your self. As we approach Valentine's Day, though not part of the tradition, throw some self-love in the mix.
I know you are dying to know. You may not even realize you want to know. But, I will release you from the suspense and give you the answer. No. I have not started my 2019 Vision Board. Usually by this date I have declared my goals, made my board and even taught a class empowering others to do so.
This year I am moving a little more slowly, giving myself more room to dream, floating in the possibilities. I've talked about this before. We are in that void of time between the coming of Winter and the mid-way point to the Spring Equinox. This is the time to go inside, be introspective and to rest and rejuvenate. I know I'm feeling all of those things as I pack up my holiday decorations at the same time as I UN-PACK 2018, examining the successes and the chaos, the wins and the losses. Oh the losses. So many personal losses. So getting off track and not staying in the place of positivity where I normally linger. So, I want to tell you 2 things. 1.) Start where you are and when you are. If you don't have your goals ready or your vision board made or your life planned this month for the year, when you do have those things, start there. 2.) If you are trying to energetically capture this time, then use this time to dream and to ponder and to unpack your thoughts. Take the time between the Full Moon (January 21) and the New Moon (February 4) to really say goodbye to 2018, leaving room for 2019. Then, on the New Moon choose those seeds for 2019. Make the Vision Board. Write those goals. Embrace the possibilities! This year, the Imbolc New Moon falls on the actual day of the new feng shui energies anchoring in and is very auspicious. For me personally, that's really my GO point. To assist me in getting ready for this excitement, I began Jack Canfield's 10 Day Transformation program. I am a HUGE fan of Jack and am exited to be working through his program(s). If you do not have his breakthrough book Success Principles, order it today and begin to apply this to your life. If you are a fan of The Secret and are either a longtime student of Law of Attraction or if it's new to you, this is a great book. This little gem shared in the meme below was the quote that stopped me in my tracks today and was a like a message from Spirit to continue on my path and with those goals that I am setting in 2019! ***Affiliate Disclaimer: Sometimes my blog posts contain links to products that I personally endorse. I MAY make a profit on these links. Any profit made is used to support my family and I give thanks for each of these opportunities. Any product seen on this website is personally used and loved by me (unless it's a bad review and noted as such!) Thank you and peace be with you. .My last blog post was hello from sunny Orlando and this one is hello from a dark and cloudy Nashville (and cold, did I mention cold?). I'm sitting here in my kitchen looking at the Christmas decorations that need to be put away and the kitchen floor that is in desperate need of a good cleaning and am attempting to put those things aside as I think about our recent trip to Orlando and the Shutterfly photo book I'm hoping to create in the next week for each of us. So, in an effort to further ignore the situation in my home, let's talk about my planning, resources and how we chose our hotel.
I think my children are the only ones among their friends who (until last week) had never been to Universal. That may not be entirely true, but, they felt that way and so did I. Universal is a horrifically expensive endeavor that takes lots of money and time in planning. Thankfully, I have a friend who has been there many, many, many times and she gave me some great tips and suggestions. There are a lot of blog posts out there that provide helpful information, but here are some of my fave go-to's for questions: Universal Orlando Informer on Facebook Orlando Informer Website Touring Plans (a subscription site, though blog posts are free) Before we go any further, know that I am not a Universal expert, but I am super practical and notice a lot of things! I've given you some planning tips (or where to go to find them) and now we'll move right into the hotel conversation. We stayed at the Royal Pacific, which was amazing, and very expensive. In fact, it was approximately $1300 more than the lowest price on-site hotel, Cabana Bay. (Note: Universal is adding another budget hotel that appears to begin at $73 per night, though I haven't stayed in a hotel that inexpensive in YEARS, so I would be a little concerned about pretty much everything.) The Royal Pacific is beautiful and as I hate to fly and have no idea if I will ever get to Bali or Tahiti and don't know when I'll see Hawaii again (I cannot believe I flew there once), it is the closest thing to that part of the world for me! If you are going to UO at a time when the crowds are low, I'm not sure there is a great reason to choose such a pricey option as the Royal Pacific, unless you are simply looking for a little more luxury and have the money to spend. If we had traveled during low crowd times, we most likely would have chosen Sapphire Falls. It is still at the level of comfort and beauty I am looking for, but without one big thing: the Universal Express pass. Yep. if you are traveling during peak times - Christmas, spring break, the middle of summer, you WANT the Universal Express pass and the most economical way to acquire the pass is by upgrading your hotel. If you noticed, I said our hotel was about $1300 higher than the least expensive hotel for a family of four. Had we simply purchased the Express pass individually for us, we would have been out an additional $1100. For 3 days in the park, our Express passes would have cost a total of $2400. And, again, if you are traveling at peak times, you would be mad to not have the Express pass. The longest anyone in our family waited for a ride was approximately 40 minutes, which is saying a lot as 2 of the days we were there the park was at full capacity. Many of the rides my husband and children simply walked on and for some the wait was more like 20 minutes. I say my husband and children as I do not ride the rides (more on that later). The Express pass is by far the number one reason to upgrade to one of the three hotels that offer this perk. Those hotels are the aforementioned Royal Pacific, the Hard Rock and Portifino Bay. I want to mention that of the three premium hotels, the RP is the least expensive! Bonus as I would proabably never stay at Hard Rock and the Portofino is really too expensive for what it offers - especially when we can stay at the RP and have the South Seas experience. In addition to the Express pass, these hotels, plus Sapphire Falls, are all within a short walking distance (10 minutes) to the parks AND offer a fun water ferry that departs from a dock just by your hotel over to City Walk and the entrances to both Islands of Adventure and Universal. For us, that was part of the experience. I want to add that you pretty much could not pay me to stay off property and have to load up everyday in my car to go to the parks. I do want to say that you can take food into the parks, so if that's the way you want to go, you can can go inexpensively - stay off property or at Cabana and pack your own food. Just be prepared to wait in the lines if you go during peak times. We have not traveled a lot since the kids were born. We have taken two Disney trips (one was partially paid for by my husband's company), 5 beach trips, one trip to the Smokies and one trip to China (adoption trip, not a vacation) in 17 years. We have no family travel plans for 2019 and will most likely not travel again until 2020, so this trip could be a little more extravagant. Other things we loved about the RP. 1. The Decor (I mentioned this before, but I seriously loved it!) 2. The Staff. Every person we encountered went out of their way for us, smiled, just were amazing! 3. The rooms were clean and very comfortable. 4. Breakfast. Okay, not on the level of the 5-star breakfasts we had in China, but good. We ate most mornings in the lobby at the Grab-N-Go which featured pastries, hard boiled eggs, cereals and ham and cheese croissants. The coffee was great, not typical hotel lobby coffee. Each of those meals ran us around $35 for all 4. We did eat one morning at the big buffet as they made an error on our bill and comped us that day for breakfast. I had a delicious made to order omelet. It was a lovely buffet with lots of fresh fruit and more. (Expect to spend about $80 if you pay for it!) 5. The pool! The pool was great. Actually, you have access to all of the hotel pools, but why go anywhere else? You can get poolside food service and there is also a lovely tiki bar. The staff plays games with the kids and has free treats all afternoon. Also, they have great towel service! 6. If your kids like characters, they wander around in the afternoons. There were Minions and Homer Simpson, not our faves, but they were there. Ask if they will be there. It may have been a holiday thing, but I don't think so. I want to take this post to mention transportation to and from the airport. There are several options. There is the Universal shuttle, which can be booked when you book your package. My friend uses the Mears shuttle. You can take a taxi or Uber or Lyft. I personally am not enamored by those two services. Sometimes you just need to hit the easy button. When I booked our package through Universal, I simply added the Universal shuttle. Just to be sure I wasn't spending a ridiculous amount of money, I did compare with Mears and looked at the OI Facebook page to see what folks said about Lyft and Uber. The Universal shuttle was the least expensive and easiest. Finally, let's talk about where you book from. I looked at a dozen websites, including Trip Advisor, Travelocity, etc. I found that booking directly through Universal was the best option financially (a small savings) and the easiest as I didn't have to deal with any 3rd party booking agents/websites for questions. My advice, hit the easy button, book through Universal, if you are flying take the Universal shuttle, and stay at a premium hotel - unless you are going in a very off time and then book Sapphire Falls! I am sitting in the Orlando airport waiting for our plane to depart. We are looking at at 2.5 hour delay, which is allowing me time to do something I had hoped to do when I get home, but felt like I may be too tired. Blog!
It isn't lost on me that only several years of dreaming, plannning, pushing, prodding plus lots of pain has brought my family and I to this place. This is our third trip in 2018, which feels both wonderful and excessive to me. 2019 will be dialed back down as we are planning 2 big trips in 2020. Today is New Year's Day and while I am abnormally calm and not rushed (I cannot be as I am at the mercy of Sun Coast Airlines) I am thinking of this new year and what it holds. Every day holds promise, but it is never so promising than this beginning of a new calendar year. My focuses this year are more intentional manifestation, daily meditation, healthy living with daily exercise, turning our home into our own resort and retreat, family family family, my husband and our relationship, crafting, and my best biz year yet truly serving my clients and added to that intentional community service. Whew! More to come on all of these as January unfolds. Happy new year. I would love to hear your intentions for 2019 here or on my FB or Insta pages. Wishing you peace and love, Dana I was going to blog today about prayer and manifestation and what happens when we don't follow those principals. But, I have something else to tell you. I have been pretty quiet on the blog front, and social media front, and life front for a while. Forgive me. My last post was just after getting my daughter off to school at the beginning of the year and that blog post was titled, "Ya'll" and I said , "Praying for a smooth year." I think that was my intuition kicking in. It must have been. The year has been anything but smooth. In fact, I think the words roller coaster, bumpy road, wind tunnel - those would be accurate descriptions of our year. Who knew we would be here today? I think I did.
Let's be honest, my life has never been smooth. With the exception of being born with the good fortune of wealthy parents, it really hasn't been smooth. And, I've always been okay with that. I mean, it's life. It's just what happens. Until, it's not just about you, it's about others (like your kids) and you sit and watch and wonder how the heck you find yourself here. I cannot yet thrust the curtain fully aside as we are in the midst of what we hope will be a really great transition, but I can state emphatically that if something in your life is not working, then change it. A long-term acquaintance of mine, a beloved member of a community that we have long been part of, and who doesn't know our current circumstances, but is familiar as a founding community member said recently on my Instagram page, "It's okay to walk away from things that can't be fixed." I will leave you with this. Gratitude. It matters. Pass it on. Y'all! I just went to the grocery store alone and will go home alone and actually get to work for nearly 3 hours at my clean desk with no one there while dinner simmers on the stove. Praying for a smooth year. Hooray for teachers and administrators.
It's 4:30 am and I have been awake since 2. After an hour and a half of tossing and turning I decided to tackle my biggest home task on my list today - cleaning off my desk. During the school year I was able to keep it clean. However, with the kids home and with my hubby home more (due to not having evening activities with the kids), my desk has become a dumping ground for pretty much everything. I have several hours of work to do today (assuming I can stay awake) and knocking this off my list is a blessing. (Trying to find the positive in a sleepless night.)
Today my youngest goes back to school. 6th grade. I'll post a selfie later with her and one of her alone as I promised her breakfast out this morning. Hmmm...I have had one cup of coffee and think I will have another. This may be a 3 cup today. Have a good one! #insomnia #isitbedtimeyet #coffee |
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Meet DanaI’m Dana Croy and I am a modern day mama. Balancing family and work is not always easy (not to mention a little self-care). Though being Mama to two fantastic kiddos is a huge part of my life, that was not always the case. I wear many other hats and invite to sit down and find harmony with me. Archives
August 2021
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